Hermione's Flamer
by XiXi Scarlett
Summary: Sequel to 'Will You Read This, Draco' Hermione's checking her reviews when she comes across a mysterious flame... DracoxHermione, RonxLavender. Again, this is anything BUT normal! T to be safe... Teeny itty bit of romance.
1. Chapter 1

Hermione's Flamer

A/N KasumiHarukaHikari (Kasumi Haruka Hikari if it didn't show up), you have inspired me! The people's pen names on here are:

Ron- ROMIONE 4EVA (Thanks, KHH)

Snape- I Miss My Water Lily

Harry- O Epic One

Lavender- ROVENDER ROCKS

Draco- I Know You Can't Stop Staring

Neville- Don't Kill Me

Hermione checked her reviews on 'OMIGOSH I LOVE DRACO SO MUCH!'. She had five already! There were two from 'ROMIONE 4EVA', one from 'O Epic One', one from 'I Miss My Water Lily (who had a lot of M and T rated SnapexLily fanfics), and one from 'Don't Kill Me'. She read ROMIONE 4EVA's reviews first. The first one said, "I hate this! Why would you write this trash?" and the second one was a string of cuss words. 'O Epic One's' review said "Mione, you can do better." 'I Miss My Water Lily's'' review said, "Miss Granger, see me in my office tomorrow. We need to have a talk." And 'Don't Kill Me's' review said, "I loved it, Hermione! I knew you two would end up together!" Then Hermione went on the archive. There was one called "Dear Granger" by 'I Know You Can't Stop Staring'. She clicked on it. It said:

Dear Granger,

I know I called you a mudblood, bookworm, and beaver teethed. I want to say sorry even though all of those things are true. Wait, you don't know who I am! I can say whatever I want! Okay, then. I love you and want to hug you and squeeze you and never let you go...ever! And when you're not with me, I think of you and miss you. I may seem creepy, but I'm not!

Love,

Granger's Admirerer (I Know You Can't Stop Staring)

Hermione went to this guy's profile. He was an idiot. Who? Draco. HE PUT HIS STINKIN' NAME ON HIS PROFILE! But Hermione pretended he didn't. Back on the archive, there was a story called, "I Love You" by 'ROMIONE 4EVA' aka, her flamer. She read the story. It was very..descriptive about things that...happen privatley. It was rated M and somehow just displayed without specifically searching for M. (Hermione thanked ROVENDER ROCKS for writing such a mean review). She wrote a PM to 'ROMIONE 4EVA'. She wrote:

You creep! Why would you write such things? I hate you!

Hermione rolled her eyes and walked off to find Draco. Oh, the fun she would have.

A/N Right now, I feel the need to write Snape's Profile...be right back!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N ...Hi. Hi. Hi. Hiiiiiiiiiii! This will have a lot of loving, Rooooooooooooooooooooooon bashing, OOCness, 's lonliness, and Haaaaaaaaaaaaaarrry's epicness. Yoooooooooooooou have beeeeeeeeeeeen warned.

Hermione smiled to herself. It was time to make Draco crazy. After an hour of searching for the hopless lover-boy. Hermione sat next to him in the Great Hall (forget House-seperatedness!). He was blushing ever so slightly and he wasn't looking at her.

"Draco? Why aren't you looking at me? Isn't there something you want to do to me?" she taunted him. "Something posted on the Internet?"

"No," he muttered. "Filthy Mudblood, why are you here?"

"A little birdie told me that someone wanted to hug me. Neville doesn't want to, neither Ron nor Harry. So I decided to see if you wanted to hug me," Hermione said. She was loving this.

Blaise, who was sitting on the other side of Draco, leaned over and whispered into Draco's ear, "Go for her. I read your fanfic. Next time, don't put your name on your profile."

Draco blushed redder than Ron's hair. "Sh-shut up, Blaise!"

Blaise shrugged and soon, dinner was over. Hermione strutted as Slytherinish as she could and winked at Draco, who by now was blushing madly and fighting to keep his jaw under control. Blaise was snickering. The thought just hit Hermione, where were Crabbe and Goyle? Oh well, they were probably having their own fun.

oOo

_Snape's Diary. Day 1._

_ I miss Lily. It's a good thing I have fanfiction to rant about her whenever I would like to. It disgusts me that people write 'slash' about me and that Potter boy. I feel ill thinking of it. Oh great, here comes Hermione. Time to talk with her about certain things. See you later._

_ Snape_

Snape closed his leather diary and put down his quill. Hermione walked in.

"You wanted to talk to me, Proffessor?" she asked.

"Yes," Snape said. "It's about your...obsession over Mr. Malfoy."

"Oh no," Hermione said. "If you're going to tell me about-"

"No! No! _NO! _I am not one to tell you about _that_," Snape said.

"But, Proffessor. Why did you write those stories about you and Lily-"

"ENOUGH! About your obsession. I think that, if you want him to notice you, give him chocolate frogs. He loves those," Snape said. "You may leave."

Hermione shrugged and walked away. Snape opened his diary.

_Continuation of Day 1._

_ Ah. I can't put into words how lonely I am. It annoys me that I can't see my angel anymore. She always leaves her picture. I bet she visits James' frame. I should burn that. That's a good idea. Goodbye for now._

_ Snape_

oOo

Harry smiled. He was just so epic in his own epic ways. (This was a confidence boost excersise) He told himself that he could beat Voldemort, he could kill Snape, and he could tell Ginny his feelings. Last time didn't end up so well.

_I hope Mrs. Weasley starts cutting the twins' hair regularly now, _Harry thought and shuddered.

Anyway, now again ranting about his epicness. Harry fiddeled with his glasses. He realized that Hermione thought Ron sucked. Harry thought why. Well, he did get annoying, rude, and idiotic. Harry smiled. All this trashing on other people, made him feel better about himself.

A/N Seeeeeeeeee? I tooooooooooooold yoooooooou! Hooooooooooope yooooooooooooou like iiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N Does anyone even know that this story exists?

_Snape's Diary Day 2_

_ Today, was strange. That Potter boy was eating sugar again. He says and does the strangest things! On the bright side, I posted another fanfiction. And I burned James' frame! Currently, Lily isn't speaking to me, but she will. I know it. SHE WILL! SHE WILL! That is all._

_ Snape_

Snape closed his diary. Lily was currently cowering in fear of him.

"Lily, I know you loved me. Just admit it, and maybe I'll move you," Snape said. Lily only shook her head and crossed her arms. "Fine! Be that way!"

Snape then left to go teach his class and rant about being lonely.

oOo

Harry grinned evilly. It was time for fun. He had just downed around fifty Pixie Sticks! Pure sugar, everyone's dream. He skipped around the Great Hall throwing flowers and bothered the Slytherins by painting everything they owned pink. (You should've seen the common room!) Harry had put bows in Malfoy's hair while he was sleeping, Spray painted 'HARRY RULZ!" on the common room now pink wall in lime green spray paint, and Snape had a shamppo bottle following him.

"Hermione, why arre you putting colors on your face?" he asked.

"It's make-up, Harry," she said. "And I've always been putting it on!"

"Are you suuuure about that, Mione? I thought maaaaake-up was made for people to be purdy," Harry said, he was talking really fast. "If I put make-up on, I'll look purdy! It'll be amazing! All you can eat!"

Hermione was fuming. "Harry, I'll give you five seconds to run."

Harry was now speaking in a country accent. "Okay, Mione. I'll only be needin' three!"

Harry ran as fast as his legs could carry him. He ran through Peeves (who did not appreciate it), bumped into Snape, called Ron mental, and slapped Draco. So currently, there were five people chasing him. Nope, now six. He was caught running in the hall by Filch.

"Run, run as fast as you can. You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!" Harry taunted. He was half-skipping, half-running.

Suddenly, Everything else seemed to be slow, because while Harry was running, he downed fifty more pixie sticks. Everything seemed to be paused. Harry strolled by the paused scene. Some of the paintings were staring. Harry calmly opened the door leading to the main courtyyard. Everybody had run out. Harry calmly walked back to the Gryyfindor common room, and locked himself in the bathroom.

A/N Yay for pixie sticks. Press the button below! Y'know, the one that says review!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Now, I'm going to put more of...I don't know. Read and find out. (If you want, I'll take requests on what the characters might do. Honestly, i don't know where to end!)

Harry was scared. Very very scared. After the incident beforehand, he only did one thing, write fanfiction to calm his nerves. After a very angsty romancy write about him and Ginny's love. He suddenly felt like singing one of those songs by that horrid Muggle Justin Beiber (no offense Beliebers). So, natrually, he did. He didn't realize that someone was listening.

"Harry! You're lucky you didn't make my ears fall off!" Neville yelled at him.

"Neville! Thank goodness! Someone's not angry at me!" Harry said and hugged...himself. Haha, bet you thought he would hug Neville!

"What do you mean?"

"I called Mione ugly, slapped Malfoy, Snape...angers me and vise versa, ran through Peeves, and Filch...hates me. Then I aste more Pixie Sticks and-"

"You had PIxie Sticks?"

"One hundred baby! then I had them all run outside, then came back here," Harry said.

"Harry?" Neville asked.

"Yeah?"

"What do you like better? Roses or tulips for your funeral?"

"Shut up."

oOo

Hermione pounded on the door. "Harry, are you serious?"

"I thought Bellatrix killed him," Malfoy said.

"Shut up," Hermione glared daggers at him.

"Well, if we're gonna be stuck here together, we misht as well be close, close, _close,_" Draco said while stepping toward Hermione, "_close_-"

"Malfoy! No PDA!" Snape snapped.

"Fine! Sor-ry!" Malfoy said.

"See ya, losers," Peeves said and floated through the door.

"What about you, Filch? You haven't said anything lately," Snape said.

Filch was gone. He could've taken them with him, but he didn't. The four remaining were annoyed. Then Ron spoke up.

"You do realize we can just open the door, right?" Ron asked.

"Don't be an idiot we can't-" Hermione was cut off as she opened the door. "For a mental guy, you're smart."

"Thank you," Ron said. He gave Hermione a kiss on the cheek (she wiped it off disgustedly) and strolled off.

"20 points from Gryffindor for public displays of affection," Snape said.

Draco frowned. "Somebody's sad that they didn't get their girl!"

"Shut up! One point from Slytherin!" Snape said and blushed the lightest shade of pink ever.

Hermione's eye twitched.

A/N Soooooooooooo! Like it? Hate it? PRESS THE MAGIC BUTTON!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N At the moment, I don't have Iternet (I'll probably post this when I do) so I'm trying to write a very long chapter while I wait for my precious Internet.

_Snape's Diary Day 3_

_Hmmm...Why does it seem that someone has vandalized my diary? _HEY SNAPE! STILL SAD THAT YOO DIDN"T GET MY MOMEE? HAHA YOU LOOZER! BY THE WAY, THIS IS HARRY! LOVE, YA! BYE! _That Potter boy was looking in my diary? I'm going to kill him! But not now, I haven't had my coffee yet!_

So the lonely potions proffessor went to get his cappucino (with extra foam, of course) when he saw a boy he never seen. He looked closely and it was...that Potter boy!

"Potter!" Snape yelled.

"Uh...uh...LOVE YA!" Harry said and started running.

Snape face-palmed. "Idiot..." he muttered under his breath.

oOo

_Before the Incident_

"Wow! This is amazing!" Harry said, while reading Snape's diary. "This is great stuff!" He grabbed a quill and started writing 'HEY SNAPE! STILL SAD THAT YOO DIDN"T GET MY MOMEE? HAHA YOU LOOZER! BY THE WAY, THIS IS HARRY!' Then, Harry heard the scaruest thhing in the world, an angry Hermione.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! I KNOW YOU'RE HERE!" she yelled.

Harry had to think what to write fast. So, natrually, he wrote what he usually said to Ginny before running off. 'LOVE YA! BYE!'. So now, Harry sneaked past Hermione and soon he was near...(drum roll please) SNAPE!

"Potter!" he yelled.

Harry thought for a moment. "Uh...uh..." he said. "LOVE YA!" Harry ran for his life.

Snape wasn't really chasing him, but Hermione was standing where he was going. Soon, Harry was on the floor with Hermione on top of him.

"Hermione, I don't think Ginny should see us like this! I mean it looks like we're-" Harry got cut off.

"I DON'T CARE! YOU WILL PAY!" Hermione yelled.

"But I already did. Uh, didn't at one point you have a crush on Snape? Look! There he is now! Run little walking library!" Harry yelled and pushed Hermione off.

Harry ran more, bumped into a few walls, twisted his ankle, and got the lights knocked out of him by Hermione.

_Harry's Infirmirary Dream (Told in His POV)_

I was lying down on the grass. There were unicorns. Draco was dancing around in a tutu (a pink one!) and Hermione was trying to kill him. Ron was stuffing himself with free food. At least this wasn't a nightmare...okay, the Draco part was, but I didn't really pay attention to him. One of the unicorns took me to Harry Land. It was all about me! Then, I woke up.

_After the Incident (Normal POV again!)_

Harry woke up in the infirmiray. Did he get hit that hard? Either way, he didn't like it there. So he, being the idiot he was, got up and walked out. It was night so Harry only had two things to worry about, Flich and Peeves. Unless he hid Mrs. Norris and told Peeves what Draco hates. Then he wouldn't have anything to worry about. So Harry did hide Mrs. Norris and tell Peeves what Draco hates. Harry was feeling extremely nice today. He thought the medicine might've gotten to him or something because he kept seeing a goat. Harry smiled. He had fun today.

oOo

The day after Hermione had knocked the lights out of Harry, she felt extremely romancey. Her reviews had went up by one. (It was Draco...'Thank you so much for writing this, whoever you are!') Hermione smiled. Draco didn't know it, but she was liking him more. Ron still wanted her, but he was...taken care of. Thank oodness Hermione was good with words...and bribing Lavender. Hermione ran into Neville in the hall.

"Oh, hi Neville!" she said.

"Hey, Hermione," he said back.

Hermione walked along, minding her own buisness. Sometimes, she felt like someone was watching her, but she figured that it was just Peeves. She wanted to go to class, but it was Saturday. At one point, she wondered why the halls were so empty, but it was probably because everyone was outside. She heard footsteps and a thud coming from behind her. Hermione spun around. Draco was on the floor.

"Draco? Were you following me?" she asked.

"Uhhh...no?" he said sheepishly.

"Right..." Hermione said and kept walking.

"Hermione?"

"What, Draco?" Hermione was getting annoyed by his presence.

"Will you go out with me?"

"...Let me consult my advisors. Ask again tomorrow," Hermione said, slightly blushing.

"Is that a no?"

"No, it's an ask me tomorrow," Hermione said and went to go find Ginny and Harry. (She didn't trust Ron at the moment.)

Ginny and Harry were snogging in the girl's dorm. For a guy, Harry was in there a lot for strange reasons.

"Harry! Ginny! I need your help! It's urgent!" Hermione yelled.

They broke apart. "What?" Ginny asked.

Harry had a crazy look in his eye. "Whaaaaaaat happened?"

"Draco asked me out!" Hermione said.

"I'm ooooouuuuut! Byyyyyye!" Harry said and left to do whatever Harrys do.

"What'd you say?" Ginny asked.

"I said 'Let me ask my consultants. Ask again tomorrow."

"You can't do that! Draco's probably the only boy who's crazy enough to ask you out! Go find him and say yes!"

"Okay."

"And...?"

"You and Harry can coninue snogging. I know he's in the closet."

"How?"

Hermione shrugged. She took Ginny's advice and went to find Draco. He was in the same spot she left him. It seemed as if he was frozen.

"Will you go out with me now?" he asked.

"Yup," Hermione said.

Draco looked like he was going to be sick. But, y'know, happy sick. Like after getting off an awesome roller coaster.

"O-okay," he said, swaying a bit.

"When are you coming to get me?" she asked.

"I-i didn't think that I'd get this far," Draco said.

"...Astronomy tower at eight," Hermione said after pondering a moment.

"O-okay," he said again.

Hermione walked to the Great Hall, realizing that it was almost noon and she was starving.

oOo

Draco was getting strange looks from people in the Slytherin common room. Why? He was dancing happily. Normally, Slytherins don't do that. But we all know Draco, he'd do it anyway.

"Draco? You okay?" Blaise asked.

Draco paused, smiling madly. "I'm not okay. I'm awesome!" He was nodding his head wildly and then continued dancing.

"It worked?" Blaise asked in disbelief.

Draco nodded wildy again.

Blaise rolled his eyes.

A/N Next chappie will have Snape's diary, Harry randomness, the date (not sappy...probably), and Ron will make an appeearance of his own! Ooooh! Maybe Neville will too! (When I mean appeearance I mean like, after the oOo thingies!)


	6. Chapter 6

A/N Another chapter while I was waiting for the Internet WHY WON'T IT COME BACK? *walks off shaking a can of cat food*

Harry: Hehehehe...

Draco: Why are you laughing?

Harry: Hehehe...

Draco: SHUT UP! Okay, now read the story, readers.

Draco did meet Hermione in the Astronomy tower. They were talking about whatever came to mind. While they were talking, they paused. Draco leaned closer to Hermione until they were centimeters away.

"Ooooh! Are you two going to _kiss_?" Harry's deranged voice asked.

Draco got startled and jerked away from Hermione. "Harry!"

"Yes?" Harry asked.

"I'm gonna kill you," Draco said menacingly.

"Not unless Filch beats ya to it!" Harry yelled and ran away.

"Hermione, I'm so sorry I have to-" Draco got cut off.

"Go kill him. I'll help," Hermione said, much to Draco's surprise.

"Awesome! Let's go!" he said and began a chase that would probably end up taking all night.

oOo

Ron was dreaming. He liked his dream. Well, he _did _until Harry showed up.

"RON! Wake up! Wake up wake up wake up wake up!" Harry yelled.

Ron sat up in his bed. Harry had a worried look on his face.

"What'd you do this time?" Ron asked.

"Well..." Harry saud and took a deep breath. "Hermione and Draco were on a date and they looked like they were gonna kiss so I know you like her so I said 'Ooooh. Are you to going to _kiss_?' and Draco said that he was gonna kill me so I ran and ran and ran and then I woke you up and then explained and now I'm asking you for help!"

"Alright. Go find Snape's stash of candy. Inside the first chocolate frog you see, unwrap it and inside, you'll find a ticket to Japan. There, you'll find a guy. His name is Hasimoto. You talk to him and he'll give you a job at some Muggle olace called Nintendo. You'll design a video game and you'll call it 'RON ROCKS!'. You got that?" Ron asked his crazy friend.

"I'm sorry. All I heard was Alright and that. You were saying?" Harry asked.

"Harry, go hide under the bed!" Ron said and went back to sleep.

oOo

Harry crawled under the bed. He saw someone else was under there. He sinffed the air with his mouth like he'd seen Crookshanks do.

_Hmmm. _Harry thought. _I smell...roses, tulips, craziness, and...mangoes? Wait, this could only be..._

"LUNA!" Harry yelled. "What are you doing under my bed?"

"Isn't it obvious, Harry?" Luna asked. "I'm checking for brain-eating parasites! You seem to have a lot!

"What? Really?" Harry asked. "YEAH! Now I can check number five off my bucket list!"

"Number five? What were the other four?" Luna asked.

"Kiss Ginny. Make Hermione mad and live. Slap Draco. Eat Snape. Call Pansy fat," Harry said while counting the items on his fingers.

"How many of those things did you do?" Luna asked.

"Three. I didn't eat Snape yet. I'm saving that for the last day of school," Harry said matter-of-factly.

"Well, I'll be going then. Bye, Harry. Good luck doing...whatever that is that your doing," Luna said and crawled out from under the bed.

Harry stood there the rest of the night, not getting a wink of sleep.

oOo

_Snape's Diary. Day 4._

_ I hate my life. That is all._

_Snape_

A/N I didn't have much for Snape, but I said he was going to be here, right? I included Luna! REVIEW REQUEST COMPLETE!

Harry: Why didn't I sleep? Am I dead? Can I be eaten? Am I a hamburger? Is Luna a hamburger? I think I look good today. SWEET! A POTATO!

Me: Ummm. Why are you appearing in my A/Ns, Harry? And my thoughts?

Harry: Uhhhh. LOVE YA! *runs off*

Me: *facepalm* Stay tuned and press the magic button below!

Harry: MAGIC BUTTON? WHERE?

Me: Goodbye, Harry.

Harry: Byebye!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N WARNING: This chapter will have Dramione action.

Harry: You have been warned.

Me: WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE?

Draco was looking everywhere. He asked every person, ghost, and magical object to find Harry Potter. He was close. _So close! _To having his first kiss. (Loserish, isn't it? No offense.) Then, _he _appeared. Hermione was currently helping Draco look, as she was angry too.

_If I couldn't kiss her last night, _Draco thought. _Then, I _will _kiss her today!_

Draco walked down the hall where Hermione was. She was using magic in an empty classroom to look under dusty desks and chairs.

"Hmm. Where could he be? Maybe he's in the girls' dorm again. I'll check there next," Hermione muttered to herself.

Draco cleared his throat and Hermione turned around. Draco walked next to her.

"Oh! Draco! Have you found him? If you have, have you killed him?" Hermione asked. "I hope you did it painfully! You should'v let me-"

Draco silenced her. With a word, not a kiss like in those sappy fanfics.

"Hermione, remember last night, when Potter asked if I was going to kiss you?" he asked.

"Yeah?"

"Well, I was. A-and I was wondering if you would, er, k-kiss me, um, now?" he asked, blushing and stuttering.

Hermione rolled her eyes, trying to look uninterested, but her blush gave it away. "Fine. Whatever."

So Draco kissed her. And, even though Hermione would never admit it, she enjoyed it. So did Draco. ...What? They kissed! What do you want me to say now? They got married and had kids? No! I've still gotta continue with the story! Don't think it's over yet!

"Wow," Hermione breathed.

"Come on," Draco said. "Let's go find Potter."

oOo

Remember before, when Hermione guessed that Harry was in the girls' dorm? Well, he was. . In fedal position. In the corner.

"Not gonna catch me. Not gonna catch me," he repeated over and over again.

"Not gonna catch you? Yeah, right," Hermione said.

Harry's eyes got wide. There was a little black catterpillar on the ground next to him, and Harry got an idea. He put the catterpillar below his nose, above his lip. It looked enough to pass as a moustache. Harry got up.

"I'm-" Harry almost said his own name. "Barry!"

"Oh, never seen you before, Barry. You look like my friend Harry. Oh well. Bye, Barry!" Hermione said and left.

Harry sighed in relief. Then a person who looked like Barry stood up next to Harry.

"Hola! Mi llamo Barry! (Hi! My name is Barry!)" Barry said. "You did a great job impersonating me, Harry!"

"I don't know what you just said, but I think it was a comliment so, thank you, Barry!" Harry said.

Harry and Barry walked out of the girls' dorm, talking like best friends.

A/N Barry's a Spanish Harry.

Barry and Harry: Bye!

Me: *facepalm*


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N Can you guys check out my new one-shot? It's called 'Wanna Talk About It?'. Also, I MAKE AN APPEARANCE! YAAAY! But, FYI, my name's changed, my appearance's changed, but my personaoity is the same. I'll probably only stsy in for, like, this chapter only.**_

_**Sevvy: Change my name!**_

_**Me: Fine!**_

_**Severus: *rolls eyes* Apparantly she has developed a new fangirlism. Unfortunatley, that's me. Anyway, XiXi Scarlet does not, nor ever will own Harry Potter or anything that she writes about...EVER!**_

_**Me: Awwww, Sevvy! You're sooooo sweet! *hugs Sevvy***_

_**Severus: *rolls eyes***_

_Snape's Diary. Day...I lost count._

_This strange new student appeared at school today. She...amuses me and annoys me. Mostly annoys me. She seems to have taken a liking to Mr. Malfoy. If I was Hermione, I'd watch out. Ugh, I'm sounding like Potter. Speaking of Potter, Lily talked to me today! She said 'Wow, Severus. Your hair is still as greasy as ever!'. I know it was mean, but I was happy anyway._

_Snape._

oOo

Harry was watching a girl. Staring, it _was _a staring contest after all. His green eyes were intently staring at her blue ones. Harry needed to blink so badly, but after three hours, he was _not _going to give up! Oops, too late.

"Haha!" she said triumphantly. Her curly black hair bounced around. "The great XiXi has won!"

"You may have won against me," Harry said, "but you are no match for BARRY!"

Harry dragged Barry up by the collar of his shirt.

"Hola, senorita! (Hello miss!)" he said. "I will win!"

And he did. So, Harry had to pay her ten sickles for the first round and XiXi did the same for the second round. Basically, they weren't really losing any money.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" XiXi asked Harry.

"Potatoes?" Harry asked excitedly.

XiXi facepalmed. "No! You idiot! I was thinking about how cool it would be to see Malfoy eating pizza!"

"You like Malfoy?"

"Maybe..."

"YOU LOSER!" Harry said and ran for like, the hundreth time.

"SHUT UP!" XiXi said and ran after him, along with the three hundred other people who was out to get him. XiXi, being a Slytherin, would probably look in the most obvious places first.

A/N This was more of a filler... Sevvy needs love!

Severus: Can you let me go now?

Me: NO!

Harry: This is highly disturbing.


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N Hiiiii! What is UP? Sorry, I haven't updated in sooooo long! It's probably been three days, but it's seemed soo long! I've been updating and writing chapters for my other stories. I was busy today so I'm updating late. Alright, let's go!**_

_**Harry: She doesn't own Harry Potter.**_

_**Me: Why are you speaking in third person?**_

_**Harry: Harry doesn't know.**_

Harry grinned mischeviously. He wanted to cause trouble. Astoria Greengrass wanted her first kiss from Draco. If you're deranged like Harry, you'd probably know what he was about to do. If you don't, you'll find out.

"Plan 356. Kiss 'Unsuspecting Stranger', run like heck, lock self in trunk, come out three days later," Harry said to himself.

"Harry? Where are you?" Astoria asked as she was walking down the hall.

"ASTORIA!" Harry yelled, running down to her. He kissed her.

"Harry?" Astoria asked afterwards.

"Yes, my strange named friend?" Harry asked.

"Run!" she yelled.

"HOLY SNUFFALOPAGUS!" Harry said and commenced running like heck.

He quickly told the Fat Lady the password (or, "LET ME IN OR DIE!") and ran up to the boys' dorm. He locked himself in his trunk and listened carefully. Nothing.

(sparkle sparkle) Three Days Later (Sparkle sparkle)

Harry stepped out of his runk and hissed.

"The light! It burnsssss!" he said and shielded his eyes.

"Who are you? Snape?" Ron asked.

"Shut up, fatty! I'm trying to have a dramatic moment here!" Harry said.

"Then why aren't you on your knees crying while holding your mum?"

"'Cause Snape's doing that."

"Man! Speaking of which, have you seen the shampoo?"

"Not gonna work."

"You're just a dream killer, aren't youu?" Ron said and left.

Harry whipped out his laptop and went on some chat website. Someone wanted to be his friend. Someone called 'The_Dark_Lord'.

_Who could that be? _Harry wondered. He accepted the friend request and commenced chatting. (Him being O_Epic_One like his fanfiction account)

O_Epic_One: Hi! Who are you?

The_Dark_Lord: Who do you think, Potter?

O_Epic_One: Snape?

The_Dark_Lord: No. I'm Voldemprt, you fool!

O_Epic_One: I think you should see a psychiatrist.

The_Dark_Lord: CYBER AVADA KEDAVRA!

Harry sighed and closed his laptop. He would be fine.

_**A/N Hey, guys! Could you check out my other stories? I know I sound desperate but it's all because of Tom Felton!**_

_**Tom Felton: Wh-what?**_

_**Me: SING! SING!**_

_**Tom: Fine, fine! If I had a plane, where would I fly to...**_

_**Me: PRESS THE MAGIC BUTTON!**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N Me: This is the last chapter! I'm going to end it.**_

_**Lucius: This filthy Muggle doesn't own Harry Potter.**_

"Can you FEEL it?" Harry randomly yelled in the middle of Hogsmeade. "Can you FEEL THE BURN?" He motioned to Draco, who understood and stood up.

"Yes, Harry. I CAN FEEL IT! Can YOU FEEL IT, HERMIONE?" Draco said and winked to both Harry and Hermione.

"Of course I CAN FEEL IT, DRACO!" Hermione yelled. "What about you, BLAISE? Can YOU FEEL IT?"

Blaise yelled. "I CAN FEEL IT! What about YOU Luna! Can YOU FEEL IT?"

Luna shrugged. "All I can feel is that you guys have Wrackspurts in your heads."

oOo

_**Harry's Songs**_

Harry always said the first thing that came to his mind. I think that by now, you've figured that out. If you haven't, this is what happens when Harry stares at a clock.

Harry intently stared at a clock. "Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. TOCK! Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. TOCK!"

And there you go. Now, Harry liked saying whatever came to his mind. When he said nothing, it was a shock. When he fell down stairs, you can hear a song coming from the Hospital Wing that sounds like this:

"OUCH! Harry hurt himself! OUCH! He fell down stairs! OWIE OWIE OWIE! His ankle hurts real bad! Harry hates the hospital wing! HARRY WANTS TO LEAVE! La la la! Harry left!"

When eating:

"Chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, CHEW! Swallow. CHOKING! CHOKING! CALL 9-1-1! OR ATLEAST MADAM POMFREY! Nevermind, false alarm. Chew, chew, ch-ACKG! CHOKING AGAIN! THIS TIME FOR REAL!

Even when sleeping!

"Snore, snore. Snore, snore. OMIGOSH GINNY'S HOTTER THAN THE OVEN THAT TIME I BURNT MY HAND! Snore, snore."

Currently, this song is echoing through the castle.

"Hey, hey! You, you! I don't like that Malfoy! No way, no way! I think that he's a loser! Hey, hey! You, you! I COULD KILL VOLDY! Derner da na na na na na na!"

Let's face it, Harry loves singing.

oOo

Draco looked at himself in the mirror and smoothed his hair. He imitated a high-pitched voice.

"OMG, Draco! You're so hot!" he put his voice mormal. "I know, Hermione. It's what I live for."

Blaise walked in just as d=Draco was kissing his reflection.

"I-i think I'll wait..." he said awkwardly and walked back.

Little did Draco know that Blaise ran off to tell Hermione what he was doing.

oOo

ALL: Thanks for reading our story! Thanks for reading our story! Thanks for reading our stoooryyy!

Harry: I hope you had a good time!

*BLACKOUT*

_**A/N So, I think this was a good ending. This is XiXi Scarlet, signing off this story for the last time.**_

_**ALL: ADIOS!**_


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